never play flip cup with pint glasses
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
MIDGETS
????
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
