I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
