your room smells of hookers.
And success
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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