im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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