I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it because I queefed?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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