i love accidental penises.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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