Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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