there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I can't turn off my feet"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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