I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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