i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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