I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
