the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
