accomplished twins. life is a go
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
we should paint friendship bongs
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
