you would pick up someone in the library
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am midnight drunk by noon
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
