I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
