I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
