at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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