what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize