I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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