honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
