Ambien. No doubt about it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
