Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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