Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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