I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
