She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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