Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
