Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
