JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
