the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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