is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
