just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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