is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
