Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize