the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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