so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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