she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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