Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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