dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
