I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
