My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
