Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize