We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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