umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
