I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
