I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm at about main and main street
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
