what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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