Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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