ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you had me at cake vodka
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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