Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
