Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
